Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The one you know.. The one who knows! :)

Dear Diary,

Tonight, I write because I owe myself a few, last words that I shall dedicate to the past few months of my life, the person I had become, the person that I am now, the person I will always be, and the person I will sought to be.

I've changed. For the better I'd like to believe. Things that didn't matter before, have now found their place in my life.. a place I now respect. Emotions that didn't make sense a little less than a year back, are the very same ones that I now accept as a part of the many things I had to learn.

I've grown as a person. Or so I tell myself. I've learned to forgive if not forget. I've learned how to make sorrows worthy of that pain that they bring along with themselves. I've learned that there's no turning back.. even if you're not too far ahead. I've learned how to stand by the decisions I've made... even if they hurt too much. I've learned how to never stop myself from taking the risk. I've learned how to give myself a chance. I've learned how to give myself reasons that make sense and hear others out even when it's the last thing I want to do. I've learned how to remain silent and watch things take their natural course.

A part of me will never change. I won't let it. Because that part of me will always define the essence of the person I will always be.

I know what it feels like to lose the upper hand over people. I know what it feels like to be overwhelmed. I know what it feels like to fight your conscience to do things you don't want to do. I know what it feels like to finally get the reasons your deserved. I know how it feels to finally be able to breathe again. I know how it feels to never regret decisions you've made... and to stick by that even when everything turns against you.

As I try to fight the exhaustion which is persuading my mind to fall asleep whilst it is trying to finish what it wants me to pen down, I realize that at the end of the day, we all make the same mistakes, we all learn the same lessons in different ways...

Saturday, March 26, 2011

The complicated women! ;)

Well, it’s a question that most men would say yes to..”Are women really complicated”

Women would choose to differ…Well it’s a given fact all human beings are complex.Just like onions there are different layers to everyone’s personality.lets not digress from our topic here.

You could term women as complicated cause only a woman would sacrifice her dreams to give a way to her loved one’s dream.

No matter how independent a woman is,she will adjust and compromise for the man whom she loves the most.

The corporate bitch suddenly transforms herself into a loving mom at home with impeccable ease.

The impatient project head, waits patiently for her husband to be back for the family dinner.

The hot chicka changes into a suave lady,just because her guy likes it that way.

The docile mom turns in a tigress to defend her kids

We wait for the guy whom we love,even after knowing he is never gonna be our.

We say " i was just kidding", "we are great friends" when the object of our affection turns us down.

We still help them with their girlfriends and lend our shoulders for them to cry.

We smile the most when we are deeply hurt.

Yes we are complicated cause we juggle different roles.We not only bring a new life into this world,we guide them in taking their first step ,we teach them to walk,we make them strong enough to run.We still stand by them when they falter.

I am a bitch, a lover, a daughter , a friend, a confidant..I am a woman and I am proud to be one.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Oh! Must be a women driving!

This Blog post are not just my words.. I am so sure! They are the words of every women who drives!

Now isn’t it assumed in this world that whenever there is a bang or accident between vehicles of a man vs woman, it has to, has to be the woman at fault! Yeah! like.. the men. can do NOTHING? whoa? REALLY?1

To be true. and practical.. I have absolutely no qualms about accepting the fact that men are generally good drivers, but what I’ve problem with accepting are two generalizations –

1. All men are better drivers than women,

2. All women are bad drivers. Yes, I hate these two general statements. Trust me tolerating women driver centric jokes is a different thing and I’ve always done so generously ..

I don’t have any objection in accepting that men are good drivers. In fact if I speak of my surrounding, when it comes to tricky driving, dad is a better driver than me and so are lots of my men colleagues and friends. I don’t think I have ever tried to prove that I’m a better driver than them and have no intention to prove the same in future as well. Thankfully I have been driving my car successfully for last few years with bang record of only once till now ..That too of NO FAULT OF MINE! (touchwood)

What disturbs me is.. The perception Of the men society in general! For me. Driving is a passion! which came very naturally! I was just 14 when I started driving! and when someone UNDERESTIMATES ME ( yeah .. that is the word) .. That is like the biggest turnoff EVER! I can hear anything! BUT NOTHING.. ABSOLUTELY nothing about my driving especially from my male counterparts!

Cars and women can never be a mismatch ! BELIEVE ME! You know, I understand some women hit panic button faster and hence those troubles on road due to women drivers but I have really seen some jerk men drivers too! I understand men may have better control on brakes & accelerators but this does not mean that women are bad drivers always.


Friday, March 18, 2011

A few minutes.. to a haunted reality!

Sitting back. Its 1:30 am. Got over with a few chapters of my maths text book. and decided to take a break. This Break took me somewhere.. somewhere in a different world altogether. I opened my mail. scrolling through old mails and conversations, I happened to open one, which I guess had been buried deep inside Long ago!

The memories, The moments.. The reality came back for a fraction of minutes I'd say! Cold nostalgia chilled down my spine. The Pain and agony returned. The truth I was trying to escape from past so many months had just Overpowered me COMPLETELY! I Felt LOST.. Completely LOST, like the old time had come back !

How cruel can life be to you at times! How brutally my self respect had been hampered by people! How one single thing had the power to TRANSFORM me completely! I was left with NO POWER.. NO SELF CONFIDENCE! NOTHING! This One phase of my life, friends, is the most sensitive one! Everything was leading me to nowhere! I was so utterly Stunned! Shocked beyond words! It wasn't that I was wrong! It was that I lost my FAITH in myself.. !

"I am that BAD.?" These 4 words were constantly buzzing around in the twists and turns of my cerebrum!

Scrolling down. reading Each and every word in that conversation.. Killed me little inside!

I had totally lost the fun side of myself..Everything lost its identity. And so did I.

That time.. is reparable . The loss can never be repaired. It did what It had to!

Phew! I can't write more! Let this blog post remain an incomplete one!

I donnot have the strength to face it again..! and here I close it!

PEACE !! :)

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

I love you...! :)

Hey Buddies!

This is no regular article. You can just consider it a crazy thought. This may bore you as well. But if you have started, please bear. Its not that long. Ok... I was just wondering, what can be the most sweet thing that you can ever hear from someone? Something that makes you ecstatic. On the top of the world. You know what I mean. So, what can be that?

At first I thought about direct compliments. Like "You are the most beautiful/handsome I have ever seen", or "You are the best person I have ever met." Sounds good, but , no, at times it sounds more like flattery. Isnt it? So then I thought about indirect compliments. Like "You light up my day", or "You make me feel better", or "You are everything to me", and all other stuff like those. Well, very romantic, and poetic too, I must confess, but still, not that. Not that! Then I dont know what came over me, but I also thought of some weird ones. Like "Congrats, you came first", or "You have a promotion", etc. or even "HI! i am your biggest fan!" Mind blowing! But, come on!

Then I realised that compliments from the elder generation sounds more like blessings. Not what I was searching. And that from younger generations sounds like respect and awe. Of course we love them. But thats not what I was searching for. I was searching for somthing that transforms us to a whole new world. That gives our life its soul meaning. Something that once heard can ring in our voice for ever, and give us a tickle everytime we remember it. That kind of something can only come from someone special.

And then I thought of those three magic words. Ahaa! There it is. "I love you", isnt that it? Those three very special words. But then I thought, What if the person who said it didnt mean that special to us. You may argue that whoever says "I love you" to us has to be special to us. But then would everyone who said that to us mean the same to us? You know the answer. So that made me realise that "I love you" as simply as it can be said, may be the sweetest thing one can ever say but not the sweetest thing one may ever hear.

So where does that leave us? Nowhere! And then it suddenly struck me. By adding a simple three letter word 'too', the very same phrase had a different meaning and effect altogether. Isnt it? "I love you too", this can be only said by the person who is already the most special to us. Isnt it? It can only come from the person whom we already love. And just think of the affection, promise and thrill this prase brings to us. An affection of a soulmate, a promise of forever, a thrill of a lifetime. Just imagine the ecstasy in knowing that the person whom your heart belongs to, belongs to you as well. Is there anything sweeter than that? I guess not. Dont believe me? Just close your eyes for a moment and whisper these words to yourself. "I love you too." Go ahead, do it! And try to feel its resonance throughout your whole body. And just think, what if the person you love whispered these to your ears? Live the moment. Feel it. You'll know what I meant. So I guess I finally got my answer. You may or may not agree with me. You may also think about these as some absolute crazy thoughts. But then, that what I said right at the beginning, didnt I?

But you know what I really think? Perhaps this is... Perhaps...

Think about it.