Saturday, March 27, 2010
I will miss you so much..but can't express in words..
I feel as helpless as a trapped bird..
The way you looked at me..and the long talks we had..
Its not you..but the distance that's making me sad..
Someday..you'll come to know I missed you every eve..
*Hug me for the last time before you leave*..
I wont stop you..I wont make you cry..
But Its hard to believe you wont be nearby.
I wish to be with you..Soon come that day..
To see you..to hear the words whatever you say..
Someday..you'll come to know I waited every eve..
*Hug me for the last time before you leave*..
Standing by the window I bid you goodbye..
And control the tears rolling by my eye..
you didnt read my eyes..you didnt feel my heart..
you wont feel the sadness of us being apart..
Someday..you'll come to know I cried every eve..
*Hug me for the last time before you leave*...
You left the place..i burst into tears..
I might lose you to the distance I always feared..
I love you so much but never said a word..
And you didnt understand the words unheard..
Someday..you'll come to know I prayed every eve..
*Hug me for the last time before you leave*..!! :)
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Hmm…so friend I am back again to disturb you..to bore you with my stupid heart talk..but you know I have no other option too! You are the only one..who cares to listen without being “JUDGEMENTAL”..!!
This thing has been there in my mind since many days…It’s like constantly bothering me day and night..!! Have I changed dear bloggy? Do you really see a NEW ME??!! Have I turned inexpressive? Or.. have I turned a little more sensitive,? Do you really think things have started bothering me more these days? Or I am lost in my own world most of the times?A little action disturbs me greatly?
Well..I don’t have answers to the questions I am being asked by Every single soul on this earth these days …”you aren’t the same like you were 6 months earlier..” umm…okay! I take that…I may have turned a little selfish now…but that is just because I have taken enough from everybody..!! I am trying to IGNORE as much as I can...and guess this has brought a change..
Well ..I think that is the only reason for the “NEW ME”…Like it or not..I will remain the same!!
Thank you for listening to me..!! I am a little lighter now!! :)
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Had a Tough and a real tiring day today…Every memory seemed to flash right in front of my eyes..I could feel the same time back…*The horrible time* back..
4th april was there to be remembered again…the pain…the anguish..the worst feelings…
The worst people were there .. infront of my eyes..symapathizing with those crocodile tears..””WHY!!! why! Do you have to do that?!!! STOP it at once “””were the words I wanted to SCREAM!! I couldn’t..!! Helpless…controlling my own self..stood there..n watched everything happening around..!! Everybody has moved on…but that space was…and will always remain empty….life has to move on ..I know..I am a big girl now..I understand…but I’ll still miss the cheerful you..!! :’( With tears rolling down..i wish to stop…and hope that day never returns !!
Friday, March 19, 2010
She wakes up early to greet the sun
and stand in it’s warm morning light...
She closes her eyes to breathe the air,
and relishes it’s fresh, cool taste...
The taste of a spring rain is in the air,
and she smiles at the thought...
Off to school she walks that day,
with happiness and love in her heart.
A love for life, a love for love,
a love for every second of every day...
She feels the cool breeze flowing past her,
sweeping her hair behind her,
and making the branches sway...
Millions of thoughts race through her mind.
Of weekend plans, of summer days,
of friends who’ve gone and those who’ve stayed.
She arrives at school with happiness and love,
a love for life and a love for love,
a love for every second of every day.
She greets her friends,
she laughs and talks.
For what could be wrong this day?
Soon a shot is heard,
followed by screams and cries.
Her friends look upon her with looks of fear.
Slowly she touches her hand to the back of her head,
and fears the pain she feels.
She feels so weak,
so lost, so meek...
What’s happened to her life?
to her carefree days?
In an instant it’s done and gone...
A girl full of love,
a love for life, a love for love,
for every second of every day...
But another was filled with hatred,
for what reason? who can say...
But no reason can explain why
this young girls life did end this day...
For hate can have no reason,
there’s no excuse for what’s been done...
So many days, so much happiness,
so much living’s been taken from this girl,
in a single moment filled with hate...
So full of life, so full of love,
but gone in a single instant..
I want to scream n yell..
At d top ov my lungs..
n curse d whole world out...
I want to shout at someone..
Sayin y don't u understand?
y don't u see?
y don't u do one damn thing..?
Cnt u see me at all..?
Or am I invisible..?
Cant none tell what's going on..?
I want to knock some sense..
Into those arnd me..
n make them understand..
If it's d last thing I do...
I want sumone to see me..
To hear me, to hold me..
To do sumthin abt what's happenin inside me...
I want to yell at u all..
because u won't understand..
u won't even try to...
n after I have screamed at d world..
n cried 'till d tears are no more...
someone holds me tight...
Letting me cry on their shoulder..
cuz they finally see..
How much dis stupidness hurts me..!!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
My blog is an insight to my life…and so..I couldn’t keep “that part” of my life unmentioned…
Today as the sunshines right over my head..with no cold waves around to cuddle me..I thought of telling u something about someone dear blog!
One girl..and..her two,..”BEST BUDDIES”! “She’s had many friends..many close people..but this time it was something different..the two best buddies she had..were guys! Ah! U must be thinking what is so different?!! Being a convent girl…having “guy” friends..wasnt NORMAL! No no no! but..u know what..ignoring every thing what people said..evry taunt I got..i still regarded them as a “part” of my life.!! Everytime I was messed up..confused..my gtlk status was updated..n they were the first ones..to ask..what’s wrong..n gave me..possible solutions! In a short span of time..dunno how..bt they grew to be my “great guy frndS”..i still can’t forget those leg pullings.. those bets..those car glances..n some of those very beautiful moments..!!
As Someone has very rightly said..time never remains the same..the world around us changed..n so did everything between us..
For them I am no more than a stranger..n for me..i don’t have the guts..to tell the world..that they ARE NOT STRANGERS TO ME!! I still don’t know what went wrong..why all this had to happen..I was blamed ..but I dunno where my fault was..i wasn’t explained..!!Now when our cars cross…it’s just to exchange those bad glares and nothing else!!
God! They dunno what they did..n havent realized what they lost..All I can say is..bless them! N may they have a great life..with great friends around them! I still hope that someday atleast one of them will realize ..and think what they lost..
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
17th march 2010...Time: 8:54
I am all bathed..dressed up..n ready right at 9:00 am! U shocked? Aren’t you..? Hah!
Excitement is all over me..””Dad! get ready fast…so that we can leave…”””
Ok..ok..now breaking the suspense…I am going for a movie with friends..*a bunch of people I love the most*…
Just when I thought…How would’ve been my life like..if “these idiots” weren’t there..And shit! Just one more year left..?? JUST ONE!! Hell!!! What would happen of our “DEVILS” ( that’s what we idiots call ourselves)…Who will wipe off my tears when m low??? Who will ask me..”MOOD KYUN OFF HAI TERA??”…who will accompany me in those “belly aching laughs”?? Damn! The thought itself haunts my existence!
We aren’t friends..we our “soul sisters”..yeah! guess that’s the right word..
Its time to introduce to you to these 6 idiots of my life…(taking the alphabetical order..to be on the safer side :P )
Apoorva srivastav: Met her just 2 years ago! Her Dad got transferred..and I could see that loneliness in her eyes when we first met…friendship grew…(thanx to class 10th..bhat sir’s tutions!) 11th was the turning point of our friendship…we grew into GREAT friends! Bunked together..laughed together! U’ve always been that sweetheart apoo!! :)
Ira badyal: Met her 6 years ago! We grew into bestest friends! Can’t imagine a single day without talking to her! Ira-nivruti is treated like “ONE NAME NOW”! The most senti girl I’ve ever seen…she’s been there with me..in my thick and thin..Sacrifices..tears..hugs…that’s what describes her the best!
Kamakshi sharma : The name itself makes me laugh..haha! we’ve grown up together..14 years! Beat that Happy in her own small world..she’s the “iitian” of our group..her family is her life..and whatever her mum says becomes “the punch” of her every statement..(hahaha) muaah! To you!
Kritika kohli: she was a complete tomboy when I first met her in class 7th! N luk at her now! Killing looks! ;) she’s my dearest belonging…extra caring! Over understanding..n just my type!! We shared the same passion “cricket” and yeah! That’s what brought us so close!!
Mridula jamwal: hardly one year since we’ve met..and she has become a part of my life..she is that “daring” types in our group..!! ever ready to punch all those guys right in their face who irritate her…love your this attitude mridz!! :)
Ridhima bhasin: My Angel.!! Innocence at its best…u can always see her engrossed in her books..and her debates! (the best debator) Hardly understands our jokes..n hence the name “question mark”.!!
Life wudve been a mess if u guys wudnt have been there! Uve made my life worth living!! I always went to school for you people! *my people*..! muaah!I know we've to part our ways one day..and move on in different directions..but that's my promise to you all that I'll love you FOREVER and EVER!! :)
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Why did I dream of you last night?
Now morning is pushing back hair with grey light
Memories strike home, like slaps in the face;
Raised on elbow, I stare at the pale fog
beyond the window.
So many things I had thought forgotten
Return to my mind with stranger pain:
- Like letters that arrive addressed to someone
Monday, March 15, 2010
Just finished giving my exams…sitting back..on my chair…with no stress of counting the number of chapters to study for the next exam..an idea of blogging just struck me..i was always fascinated by the way people wrote..(Not to forget: my sis a mind-blowing writer).
So thought of giving it a try..
Just when my mom enters my room to ask what would I like to have in my dinner..”yea mom you right..my fav.curry”! (Mom’s always know how to pamper you)
Going deep into these thoughts of how caring the people around me are..i sat down to dedicate my first post to those very special people who made my life so beautiful.
Being this very popular girl of my age group (and I am not EXAGGERATING anything :P )I am always in deep troubles and super pissed by fools around me. Being the most “talked about “person.. u hate people who intrude into your lives. And believe me I am facing this same situation. Coming back home from the tiring 7 hrs of school and three hours of torturous tuitions where all you hear is “stupid stuff being talked about you” u can just lie down on your bed frowning and thinking “what is so good in my life?”
Just then my dad enters into my room..hugs me tightly and asks..”how was your day dear.? And here..i’ve got your fav.chocolates for you..come! let’s watch this on going indo pak cricket match”…this cute refreshing smile just appears on my face..and I move on to accompany him. My mom sitting on her couch…reading my face so well asks me ..”what’s wrong..? u seem low”..yeah mom..u know everything! Just then my cell phone rings (a very common phenomena with me..cause that’s the only thing which keeps ringing 24 hrs a day :D)and I have my sister at the other end..she has her great set of jokes to crack and make me a little lighter. With her I curse all those stupid jerks who were responsible for that bad day of mine. “chod naa yaar…log toh hai hi paggal..chill maar”..Words that make up my “bacha hua day”..Just when I am all high in my spirits I have texts from my “dear angels” saying : hey sugar..we know wat u are going through..but remember we are there with you..evrytime u need us”.. my heart smiles this time..and last words I utter before I sleep are “thank you god..for this beauty in my life”
No matter how tough times I face..i always have “them” to stand by me! That’s how it goes..”complicatedly SIMPLE”