Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Phir le aaya dil.



Dear diary,
Music and lyrics have often got me thinking. And today, as this plays in my background, I am forced to reflect if life really comes to a full circle? Are somethings meant to be completed? Do people we meet and part and then meet again have a meaning? 

(“Raas na aaya, rehna door, kya kijiye. Dil keh raha hai, usse Muqammal kar bhi aao, wo jo adhoori se aas baaki hai; Wo jo adhoori si yaad baaki hai.”)

This helpless heart often brings us back to the fantasies that we once left far behind. It longs to complete the talks that still remain incomplete, and the memories that once made us smile. We still want to fulfill those wishes that we once suppressed and the spark that even now, remains alive. 

So I then ask, are we destined to be with a person? Is there a reason we come back to the person that once struck a cord in us? Are we always on a look out for that same person in everyone we meet?
Are unfinished stories meant to be completed? Is love destined? 

No matter what you were told or asked to believe, I am pretty sure our life has an underlying meaningful plan. We call this plan “destiny”. It is inscribed in the heart and soul of a man. Soul mates have a mutual destiny. It is in their divine destiny to unite with each other and fulfill themselves through a bond of love, that is pure and friendship that is playful. Otherwise, how silly would it be to reunite with a long lost friend who then begins to define your existence? 

A true soulmate is going to be the most important person you had/ or still have in your life. He /she is going to tear the walls around down and smack you awake. They come into our lives to teach us something. It’s a pivotal relationship that embodies in it invaluable life lessons. It provides us with an instant lift up of the spirits and an energy boost up from within. It brings you will all the positivity in life.

( “Kismat ko hai, ye manzoor, kya kijiye. Milte rahein hum, badastoor, kya kijiye!”)

I realize that there is always that one person who we belong to. We never meet somebody without a reason. Life clearly has a way with love. Our paths cross and re-cross for a purpose. And only when that purpose is fulfilled, we come to terms with ourselves. 

It won’t be surprising to know that we all have a lobster of our own! With him/her, the love is simply platonic. There is an instant attraction of energies, the energy of two souls connecting over time, over miles and sometimes over years. 

Sometimes the contact remains, but there is also a possibility that these two individuals be separated over years. They work on their own commitments and deal with karma within other relationships before reuniting with each other once more. And it is then that everything starts to make perfect sense. 


Till our paths cross and we meet the one we long for, let’s enjoy the chaos and smile.
I end by humming along the lines that say … “Wo jo ruki si raah baaki hai, wo jo ruki si chaah baaki hai!”
:)

- Nivruti

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

LOVE - As they call it.

Dear Diary,
I haven’t been in touch with you for a really long time. And I am quite unsure if I still am capable enough to be able to put down my thoughts into words. Yet, I am here to try.

I’ll be lying if I say that my words lack a motive, or I am writing just to make sure I can still do that. Frankly, a lot of incidents have significantly impacted my ideas about life and love to be particular. When I last wrote to you I was 19. And now as I talk to you about it, I am 22. In all these 3 years I was hoping that I’d be surer of people around me. My thoughts would crystallize into something more concrete. And that’s the funny bit. I have never been so unsure about anything.

Love and Life: Amusingly, the two L’s that screw you to bits. Ever felt how everything would be so unchallenging had these two categorically significant terms had no meaning at all? A question that intrigues me is how easily a human learns to love and live, or Live and love. The very act of loving as you live is so inherent and natural to the human psyche that as you grow old, this concept gets deeply embedded in your being. A life without love looks so alien. It is this myth of naturalness that possibly amazes me.

Let me put it in clearer terms. How is it convenient for someone to Love the other so deeply when nobody taught you to do so? And I am not talking about plain love. I here mean to mention the “I-cannot-live-without-you” kind of crazy love. And fortunately enough, as I question this, the answer becomes more clear and evident

It is hard for us humans to imagine ourselves without love. If we go back and date how human minds have evolved we realize how life forms began to emerge to make love possible. All of this cant be one simple co-incidence? The naturalness of feelings, the evolving life forms, the inherency of concepts pertaining to giving and sharing – all this has a motive. And it is this motive that I need to understand.

I am in great awe of the people who tell me that they don’t understand love or they don’t have the bone to love.  You don’t need to acquire this, you just have it. The simple joys of life come from the warmth and the intimacy you share with the person/thing that you are the closest to. It just comes. You don’t look for it. You don’t try and force your way through it. It Just Comes. That’s the beauty of this sentiment.

As I google the term, Wikipedia tells me that love is "the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another". Now this is another cause of concern. Is love really unselfish? Can you love someone or something without looking for a motive in it? What do you then call the act of “expecting” the reciprocation as? Is that not what you call a selfish gain out of something so unselfish and benevolent?

Here, comes the question of categorization of love. Love is a hierarchy – from the lowest rung to the highest. All have their own forms and way of love. There are many layers and innumerable planes of this single emotion. As Osho says, at the lowest level, love is a kind of politics. It is a dominating tendency that exists between a husband a wife, and a girlfriend and a boyfriend. The whole thing is political. You want to dominate the other, you enjoy this domination.
It is only when you move upwards in the order you realize that how this feeling matures out of this politics to the state of being unconditionally available. And that I feel is the purest form of this unsure state.

Some realize it too soon, and some take forever to know that it is this unconditional love that defines this word. Every attachment is not love. Every intimacy is not love. Every bond is not love. Love is simple. It is kind. It is forgiving. It is unchallenging. It is pure.
It is selfless. It is passionate. It isn’t bound by expectations, but by chains of affection.

Diary, I am deeply satisfied how after hours of rumbling discontent with my inner self, I am able to express so easily to you. You are my love maybe. I give without expecting and you take without demanding.

Nivruti.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

" ? "

Dear diary,

Today I am in desperate need of some answers. Today, I want to ask you some questions that I dont think will ever be answered. Today, I sit here, not to express myself, but to wait for you to talk back to me. I think it is too much to keep everything to myself now. I think, its time that you ask me what's up?!

Alot has been up. ALOT. And everything is so confusing. Therefore, you need to help me find answers to all that I ask you today!

1) Why am I here? here in this place?

2)  Who around me is real? who really cares?

3) Is there anything that will continue for long to make me smile when I look back at it?

4)  when will good things happen to good people and bad people pay for their sins?

5) Is there something called "karma"?

6) When will the world be a better place to live in?

7) How to control my anger?

8) Am I a very bad person?

9) How to tell someone that you love him unconditionally?

10) How to get away with the fear of losing someone you really love?

It's been 20 years that I am finding answers to these. I hope someday I'll know the answers.. I hope! I just hope I will! 

Friday, August 9, 2013

Silly nothings! :-)

Dear diary, 

Life has been busy and I've not been doing the best at keeping up with blogging at regular basis. However, all this while, you had always been on my mind. I could always think about putting myself into words to let you know, how life has changed and how big a girl I am.

Sometimes I find that we get so caught up with the busy-ness of life that we fail to notice how major the things were that went past us, without even making us realise the change that took place within us, or in the things that surround us.We completely forget all the things that matter ; that every little thing that has been a part and parcel of our life and without whom this journey would've been a complete  mess to deal with. But today, as i sit down to recollect, every moment brings a smile to my face. 


It is quite weird  how you never thought that somebody's presence would mean so much to you. To see that one smile, you could wage a war with all the demons that stop you. A major pain to you wouldn't be as bad as a slight discomfort to them. When you count on them for your smiles, your tears, your joys and your anger ( :D ) too. All this never made sense.But now as you are into it, everything falls into place.

Life, as I see it is just a string of beautiful moments, one after another! :-)

Life, is about perspective. It is about the ability to recognize and appreciate the things, people or that one person who really matters.

Life, is just a moment in time. We dont know when our time is up. And before that happens, let those people  know how they mean the world to you, how you and your soul could be incomplete without them.

If you have a person you want to tell something, tell them. It just takes one moment to change your life, and one moment to look back into that one year that went past you and smile to say thankyou :-)

Love,
Nivruti


Saturday, November 3, 2012

... Speechless!

Ever thought how it feels like to have so much to say, yet  there are no words meant for you?
Ever imagined how helpless you feel when your eyes don't say all you want them to?
Ever thought how magical it feels like to be.. Speechless?!

Ever had that chance to know someone who has left you... Speechless?

No?  But may be. This time. She has.

This is a new chapter in her life. A new beautiful beginning!

This chapter feels immensely beautiful. It makes her feel how fairytale's exist in real lives too... That new bright chapter of her life!

She now knew what people meant when they say.. "Reality at times is better than dreams". She now knew what it means to be lost in someone's eyes. She now knew how it feels to be complete with someone. She now knew how it feels to walk a mile for someone.She now knew how it feels like to be cold. She now knew how it feels to be loved
.

And.. 


She now knew how it feels to be ... Speechless !! :-)

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

A walk to remember

Everyone knew how happy rains made her. Those downpours made her realize her existence in humanity. And well, that was one such day.

Sara was standing at her balcony, watching the rain drops refresh the dying earth. Her cell phone flashed his name.  Skipping of heartbeat was quite a natural phenomenon for her now.  Everytime she met him, everytime she looked at him , her heart ran for a marathon win.  To pick up within 2 seconds would sound so desperate, she thought. And so, after almost 5 rings, she did what she was best at.. Pretended to be normal. 

Mr X : Hey. How are you doing?

Sara : ( Almost dead) Well, trying to act normal.

Mr X: What??

Sara : My bad! I meant, trying to enjoy the rain.

Mr X : hah! I was just passing by.  Want to accompany me for a walk?

Sara didn’t know how to react. A quick yes or a thoughtful yes?  Because saying a no was almost next to impossible.

Sara : I had to finish off some of my pending assignments. So, I am confused now. What if you go alone?

Mr X : Don’t act like what you are not.  Stop being a bore. Be ready in 5. I’ll be there.

She smiled, he smiled. Problem solved.

He was there.  She saw him from a distance and couldn’t resist smiling to her ownself.  He was everything she wanted him to be.  Tripping over a few stones and managing to maintain his balance he greeted her with a sheepish hello.

“How typical”, she thought. 

“Come on. Move now”.  He pulled her forward.

He had so much to tell her, so much to make fun off. And she had nothing to offer him with. All she could do was to push away all those emotions as far as she could and avoid showing the pink side of her personality to him.  One smile and it would be the end of the world.  To look into his eyes was something she could never do.  They were something.  They did something completely unimaginable to her.

Not knowing how that one hour went by, Sara was shaken to reality by him.

“Here, your destination arrives. Thankyou for the company. But, were you even listening to me all this while? Serious doubt issues, you know”. He said.

Nothing could’ve been as disappointing for her as the end of this walk was.

“Sigh. I wish I could hear you some more.”

“Wait, what?”

“Oh! Nothing.  Take care. See you tomorrow”

And today. It was the same day, the same rain, the  same balcony.  She was standing right there to wish for her cellphone to flash his name. Her eyes looked for him everywhere she went. All  she hoped for was a loud call from behind.  And all she got was some more of his memories to  think upon. 

Had she heard him more that day, she would’ve been more sure about herself.  But, this is how complicatedly simple the world around her was.  Probably, more than that! :)

Friday, July 27, 2012

May be..


Dear  diary,
I think I lost to nobody but my own self today. There are times when leaving aside everything; you have a thing for yourself. And, somehow it refuses to subside in me now. One of those days when you think you need to be with nobody but yourself? You somewhere sit down and think what did I gain out of all this?  Some more of drama?  Some more of bad experiences?  And probably some more of harm to your self respect? 

I always thought silence is the best answer to that every calamity that comes in our way. But, what if it’s the same silence that makes you a devil in disguise for people? And by people I don’t mean a random stranger passing by me. I mean that someone who you thought found words in you, in your gestures and in that twinkle of your eye. 

I respect the world made by him, the one who is sitting above. And, every time I look out for reasons to love it, he welcomes me with bundle full of reasons why to not. Why to be good when there is so much of hatred around? Why to love when there are people who need reasons to give up? Why to care when there are people who will STILL rebuke you? My question is WHY? Why do I need reasons everytime? Why can there be not a single person to prove me that this is not a selfish world?

It is high time that I start to value this quote I once thought was very silly. “People don’t change. They just become more of themselves.”  And, that little more of them needs to be known, known well before it creates a whirlpool of emotions inside you.

May be, I have been a wrong judge to people. May be I need to learn. May be I should stop here itself. And may be, I am done now. May be this world is more than just being Complicatedly Simple. Maybe!